Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
