So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
