I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
