and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
