He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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