he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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