I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize