Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
