Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
