I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
