Do you still have your period?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
