beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
