Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just googled if crying burns calories
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
