Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
