put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
