so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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