the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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