Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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