Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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