Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
