Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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