I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
