Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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