i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
