All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
