That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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