Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
