i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize