We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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