i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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