Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
