i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize