I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
