Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
