I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i think my cat just said my name.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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