K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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