well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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