I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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