who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
