in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
