Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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