You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
