It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
