I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
