So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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