i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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