Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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