dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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