I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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