I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
