wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
