I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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