The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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