I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
