My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
