Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
