he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
