Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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