she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
