we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
