My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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